One Month
by Woofalicious
Summary: It's one month after the war and nothing is how it should be. Slight AU


**A/N: **This is my first Harry Potter fanfic ever so it might be bad... Really bad. I just hope you guys like it and don't want to kill me by the end of it. Also this was done on the iPod and mostly at school.

Please read&review!

DISCLAIMER: J. K. Rowling owns Harry Potter, trust me, it would be different if I did.

_...:::... = flash back_

_:.:.:.: = different part_

* * *

**ONE MONTH**

War changes everything. War changed everything. What happened couldn't be undone. Those who died would never take another breath. Those who won lost as well. Loved ones passed on while those who loved them still lived. There was once the quote, "All is fair in love and war", but it's a lie. It always was. Love and war isn't something that should mix, it created despair and pain.

The second great wizarding war happened just a month ago and the pain was still fresh. It was a great stabbing pain in her heart, Hermione's heart. The names of the dead kept on floating through her mind. Remus... Tonks... Collin... Dumbledore... Fred... Fred was one that never left her mind. Visions of his body filled her mind. She could still see those lips forming the ghost of his last smile. The way his hair still had that flame to it. He couldn't possibly be dead, but he was.

There was just a secret between her and Fred. Hermione never fell for Ron like people thought she would one day. She might have if Fred never existed. They had fallen for each other without anyone knowing except themselves. It was their special secret that they would one day announce to the world. Over the years they had fallen madly in love with each other.

It started in Hermione's fourth year when they accidentally bumped into each other in an empty corridor, neither looking at where they were going. She had her eyes glued to a book and he was going over a letter.

_...:::::::::::::::::::::..._

_Hermione walked down an empty corridor on the fifth floor at a brisk pace. Her brown hair was trying to furiously free itself from the band she had trapped it in. A few hairs had already came out and curled at the top of her head. In her hands she held a book on the most useful spells. Brown eyes swept across the page faster than her feet were walking. She didn't even register the sound of another pair of feet coming her way. She was completely oblivious to the other person until they collided in the middle of the hallway._

_The book slipped from her hands as she fell backwards to the floor. With a thump she landed painfully on her tailbone. Her cheeks flushed that she had run into someone, she usually could avoid these things. She looked up to see who had run into her. A shock of red hair that wasn't Ron's signified a Weasley. It wasn't Ginny either, her hair was much longer. So that left Fred and George and she had a feeling that George wasn't there right now._

_"Sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going- I was reading my book. I didn't mean to run into you, I really should have waited for when I wasn't walking to start reading, that would have been smarter. Oh, how stupid of me, honestly! I really am so-"_

_"Whoa, slow down a bit, it was half my fault too," Fred grinned and held up a piece of parchment that was on the floor near him. He had obviously been looking it over prior to their little 'meeting'. His ever present grin was on his face as he picked himself up off the floor. He picked up Hermione's book for her then held out a hand to pull her stammered another thank you as he helped her up, but he put a finger over her lips to stop her mid flow._

_"Don't mention it," he said while handing her back the book. She was too shocked to say anything so she simply nodded before he left. She could feel her heartbeat accelerating once she realized what just happened. She raised her fingers up to her lips where she could still feel his finger. Her cheeks remained flushed even though he was gone and a giddy little smile crossed her face._

_She knew the gesture was completely platonic and only to stop her from talking, but she just felt different. Maybe it was because they were alone and nobody else was there, or maybe because the way he looked. His blue eyes shined with the mischief that was always there, but there was also a kindness that seemed to run much deeper. Or the way his long hair looked. On most people it wouldn't look too good, but on him it seemed right. Whatever it was, Hermione had a crush on Fred Weasley from that point forward._

_...:::::::::::::::::::::..._

Hermione could feel the fresh tears falling down her cheeks as the flash black played in her memory. She could still feel his finger on her lips. She absentmindedly touched them. It was as if she felt little things like this would bring him back. Oh, why did that wall ever have to fall on him? The stupid war...

On her bedside table was a picture she had taken of herself and Fred. The camera had been set on a timer so there had been time for him to pull her close before the flash went off. Her head was resting on his chest and he had placed a small kiss on her head. The biggest smiles were etched on their faces. You could see it plain as day, they were in love. The picture had been taken in sixth year, well, during the summer, actually.

Somehow, the picture made her think of the first kiss they had shared together. It was in her fourth year and just after the Yule Ball. It had always been one of her favorite memories. It signified that he shared her feelings. That bump in the corridor meant something to him too. She gave a sad smile through the tears.

_...:::::::::::::::::::::..._

_He pushed he up against the wall and immediately placed his lips on hers and his hands on her waist. She wasted no time in responding to his kiss. Their lips moved in synchronization for a either minutes, seconds, or even days before they finally broke apart. Her chest was heaving as she gasped for air. Her light purple dress was rumpled from where his hands were on her waist. So someone had apparently followed her from the Yule Ball._

_"Fred..," she whispered softly. It wasn't a statement really, more if a question of why? Not that she wasn't upset or anything._

_"I've wanted to do that for so long now. Seeing you with Krum and the way he looked at you... Ron too.." Fred broke off quickly. He had seemed rather...jealous._

_"And I was perfectly fine with seeing Angelina hanging off your arm all night?" She questioned with a raised brow._

_"Let's just ignore this conversation and do what we both want to do." So with that her special redhead reclaimed her lips and kissed them until they were swollen and red. For weeks after that meeting they had been sneaking glances at each other. Sometimes when their eyes would meet they would quickly turn away, sometimes they didn't. She pulled away as something came to her mind from what he had said._

_"What do you mean about Ron?"_

_...:::::::::::::::::::::..._

"Oh, Fred, you never did tell me why. I had to figure it out all by myself," she said softly to herself. At her younger age she had been oblivious to Ron's crush on her. That was probably because she was more focused on helping Harry with the tournament and Fred than anything else. She never really cared about it and never thought she would. Idiot had tried to kiss her at the last battle... The sad smile disappeared in a flash. A sob broke out instead.

Her vision became blurry as the tears fell thicker and faster. The wound in her heart twisted bringing a new pain with every beat. Those beats should have been his. As much as she hated to admit it, she wished Ron was gone instead of Fred. She knew she would have gotten over his death eventually, but never Fred's. She wanted to cry even more because of her selfish thoughts. How could she even think that about one of her best friends? What Fred must have thought of her if he ever knew...

"Why did you have to leave me? Why?" She gasped between sobs. To her great surprise, a voice answered.

"Because I was meant to."

Hermione looked up quickly, a hopeful gleam in her eyes. A very pale and very Fred figure hovered in front of her. At first she thought he was alive, but the she realized it was just a ghost. Either way, a smile lit up her face.

"Fred!" It really was. The same fire hair, mischievous blue eyes, muscular build, and the same look he had whenever he saw her, a deep, caring love.

"The one and only," his ghost grinned.

"This is great! I'll be able to see you, forever!" His grin faded. So did hers.

"Hermione, I'm not staying here, I'm going to go on."

"B-b-but..."

"I was allowed to come back for a little bit to give one last message."

"You're not staying..."

"No."

"Why?"

"I need you to move on, for me. I know that you'll never be able to do it by yourself so I came here to give some extra support."

"What about George?" Fred gave a light smile at the question.

"He knows what he needs to do."

"Then why..?"

"You don't, I can tell. Remember this, Hermione. There are people who love you. Living people who can give you what you need. I've played my part in your life, but you'll have to move on soon. It's no good wasting away for a dead man. You have your whole life in front of you, don't waste it on me. You can do this, I know you can."

"But I don't want to forget you."

"You won't, I'll always be in your heart, but as an old friend. That big part is for someone else now."

"It's not."

"Time heals all wounds," he said quietly, "Remember that." Hermione blinked, he was fading away. She thought she heard the faint words 'I love you' before his form was completely gone.

"NO! FRED, COME BACK!" She cried out once she realized he was gone. "Fred, please," she sobbed as the tears came back. "Fred..." She called out again and again, but he was truly gone.

Hermione sat back down on her bed once she realized he wasn't coming back. Her sobs had stopped, but the tears still fell freely. She let herself fall back on her bed to sink into the covers, but that didn't happen. Her back hit something hard and flat. She got up quickly and turned around. On the bed where she had fallen back was a large, leather scrapbook.

Odd, she never remembered making one. Carefully, she picked it up. The cover was smooth and soft to the touch. The dark brown looked different every time it moved. Hesitantly, she brought it up to her nose. Underneath the leather it even smelled like him. She opened the cover and looked at the first page. It was a picture of them a bit after the Yule Ball. They were holding hands and looked liked they were having a great time. They were dancing around by the lake in their winter clothes with the snow falling softly around them. Beneath the photo there was a little note, 'George always knew.'

She flipped through the book, on every page there were pictures. Some she took, some Fred took, but most she had never even seen. It appeared that George had done a lot of behind the scene work. By each picture there were little notes. Sometimes there would just be a date, other times there were little things written down such as what was happening or things like 'Remember...'. It was beautiful. There were over a hundred pieces of Fred to remember. Just thank Merlin there weren't any pictures of the time they had actually made love to each other.

There was one picture of she and Fred at the burrow in the yard near the Quidditch shed. They were on a broom, Fred laughing and Hermione holding on for dear life. She gave another sad smile at the memory, she could remember it like it happened yesterday.

_...:::::::::::::::::::::..._

_"Fred, put me down."_

_"Nope!"_

_"Please?"_

_"Nope!"_

_"Pretty please?"_

_"Nope!"_

_"Pretty please with a cherry on top?"_

_"No- what?"_

_"A muggle saying."_

_"Oh." She stopped struggling eventually as they reached the shed. It seemed that she was going on a broom weather she wanted to or not. Wonderful. Fred disappeared inside for a moment then came out with his broomstick and a large smile on his face._

_"M'lady is turned seventeen today. She will ride with me!" Fred cheered. Hermione just sighed, this wasn't exactly how she planned on spending the day. _

_"You know very well that my birthday was ages ago."_

_"Yes, but this is the first day I've got to see you since you got out of school so I'm making up for it!" His enthusiasm knew no end. With that held out the broom for her and motioned her to get on, she did. When he got on behind her she gripped the handle for dear life. Nonetheless, she quite liked it how his arms went around her to reach the handle as well and the way he rested his head on her neck._

_"I better not fall," she warned._

_"Don't worry, I'll be there to keep you safe."_

_...:::::::::::::::::::::..._

She had forgotten that last part. She had a feeling that he had too. Fred wasn't there to protect her anymore. The smile fell once again. She flipped to the last page. There was a letter there. It was from him, his surprisingly neat scrawl filled the whole page. She read it slowly, taking in each and every word.

_My Dearest Hermione,_

_The end of the war is coming soon, I can feel it in the air. I know you're off kicking arse with Ron and Harry right now, so I can't hold you close and do wonderful things to your body, so I settled for making this. It's filled with all the photos you, George, and I ever took. I never told George about our relationship, he knew me well enough to figure out on his own. I decided to make this so you can remember me in only the way you knew me no matter what happens. There's a little confession I want to make. I ran into you on purpose that one day, I just wanted a chance to hold your hand. I've had a crush on you ever since my fifth year, your third. Your mind exceeded your body in a way that made me think of you as the same age. You were so different than the other girls I knew , I couldn't not like you! I think you were everything I was secretly looking for in a girl and I hope that when this is all over we can reintroduce ourselves to everybody- as a couple. I honestly don't know why we never told anyone, but it doesn't really matter, I'm happy with whatever you want. Except a horse, I will not get one of those monstrous beasts. Well, after this war is over I think I'm going to ask you to marry me, if you want. It's all I want, you, your love, and someday even your children. I love you, Hermione. Truly and unconditionally. You were the first and only person I will ever love. So no matter what the end may be, remember that I never will stop loving you._

_Love,_

_Fred._

Hermione closed the book and hugged it close to her chest. He was going to marry her. Marry. Marriage. It was the ultimate declaration of love and promise. She would have said yes. She would have said it without hesitation and wouldn't ever regret it, but it was too late now. That wedding would never happen. She felt as if someone reached inside her chest and threw her heart on the ground. He had even wanted her children.

Slowly she laid back down on her bed and just closed her eyes. The scrapbook lay on her chest as tight as her arms would allow it. She couldn't shed anymore tears. She felt empty except for the want to be with Fred. His visit hadn't helped, he didn't realize how much she loved him. She was never going to be able to move on, ever. It just wasn't possible. She had wanted a marriage and kids too, she couldn't imagine herself with any other man than Fred. This was how she stayed all night, her eyes closed, but never asleep. Almost all night, she added one little thing to the last page before leaving forever.

_:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:_

"Hermione?" Harry called as he went up the stair of Sirius's, well, his house. She was staying in the bedroom the she and Ginny used to use until she was able to find a place of her own. He knocked on the door and called out again. He had a deep feeling in his gut that something was wrong.

He cautiously turned the handle and peeked inside, she was just laying in bed with a large book, probably just sleeping. Well, it was lunch time and she needed to get something to eat. She hadn't been eating right since the battle and it just wasn't right. He opened the door wide and stepped in the room. Something defiantly was not right. The room was cold and there was a certain smell in the air- death. He stopped cold, it couldn't be what he thought it was.

Harry rushed to Hermione's side, she was pale and unmoving. He touched her arm to shake her gently to wake her up. She was ice cold and wouldn't move.

"Hermione, wake up!" He half yelled. "Come on, get up!"

"Harry, what are you doing?" Ginny asked from down the stairs. His yelling had startled her a bit. He could hear her coming up the stairs, but he didn't care at the moment. Hermione had to get up.

"Harry...?" Ginny's voice was coming from the doorway. Harry didn't turn around or answer. He let his hands fall to his sides as he felt a deep pain from inside. As much as he didn't want to admit it he knew what she was... Dead.

Ginny came over and saw silent tears trickling down her fiancée's face. She looked from him to Hermione and let out a gasp. Her best friend was deathly pale. She knew what a dead person looked like. For a moment her eyes left her face and to where she was holding a leather book. She walked over and gently eased it from the frigid grasp. Ginny opened it and gasped once more in shock and surprise.

"Harry, look at this," he heard from what seemed like a distance. He turned to look at Ginny with watery eyes. She was crying silently while looking at a large leather book. She sat down and put the book on the floor. He gasped when he saw it. Harry lowered himself to sit on the floor with his wife to be. It was a scrapbook filled with pictures of Hermione...and Fred. It explained a lot. No wonder she never returned the feelings for Ron... Ginny let out a sob as she read the letter. She buried her face into Harry's shoulder.

"They were going to get married!" She cried out between gasps. Harry was shocked, their relationship was more than what he would have guessed, they were more than just in love. At the end of the letter he caught something Ginny had missed. In Hermione's unique handwriting there was a note of her own. ' I'm sorry, but I'll never move on and you'll just have to deal with me.' She had let herself go.

_:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:_

Hermione ran into Fred the minute she saw him. She wrapped her arms around him and knocked him to the ground. She could touch him now, she was no longer living. This was the man she loved, the one that couldn't even be separated by death.

"Hermione!"

"Fred!"

* * *

A/N #2 - I just realized something. NEVER EVER DO WHAT HERMIONE DID. She committed suicide, but that's never the answer. Never give up, ever. Some day you will get over it and come out even better. NEVER GIVE UP.


End file.
